Review: Troy (15)
4:14pm Thursday 20th May 2004
Achilles, the greatest warrior of all, wants his name to live on forever for his legendary exploits on the battlefield.
He spends a lot of time in bed naked with women too, and that's where we first encounter the specially-pumped Brad Pitt.
Achilles fights for the rampant Greek army which sets sail for Troy after Paris, one of its princes, falls for Helen, queen of Sparta, and steals her from the king's brother.
After ten years of warfare, the megalomaniac Greek king Agamemnon lays siege to the city of Troy and is not going to leave without victory.
But the inspirational super warrior is his own man and the king struggles to keep him on side.
Pitt fans will flock to cinemas to see how he handles his biggest-ever film role but don't expect an Oscar-winning performance.
The film, based on Homer's famous work The Iliad, has plenty of battle scenes and some impressive effects. Shades of Lord of the Rings and Gladiator there may be, but Troy which should really have been called Achilles never reaches the heights of either.
It seems unlikely that this US$185 million offering will herald a triumphant return of the epic swords-and-sandals genre. The film has its moments and is entertaining, but you never really care enough about the characters for it to be a classic.
Eric Bana is excellent as Hector, a brave and strong prince of Troy, while, in comparison, Orlando Bloom's Paris is puny, girly and laughable.
And what strange accents there were in the ancient world. The king of the Greek forces is Scottish, Hector is Australian and Achilles speaks with hints of the Irish accent Brad Pitt mastered so well in Snatch.
Now I'm just being fussy. Go watch it and help the producers break even.
by MARTYN KENT
Popcorn rating: three out of five